So it has been a while since my last post and my life is definitely a whirlwind right now. These past couple weeks have been full of emotions, questioning, wondering, and heartbreak. Have you ever had one of those times in your life where you have no idea how you got to this point? Have you ever found yourself questioning everything someone has ever told you and wondering how someone can say all the right things and you believe them and then in a blink of an eye they are walking away?
If you had talked to me a couple months ago I would have told you that this would never happen to me. Because honestly, I never thought this would happen. But what I am realizing is that I am not in control. I some ways I can make certain choices that may seem like I am in control, but overall I have no control over what happens.
That is where faith steps in. God is in control. When things happen in life so unexpectedly, it is so hard not to question God and not understand what he is doing. I'm right there, right now! It is TOUGH!
Last night was a breaking point for me. I realized that he wasn't coming back and I had to let go. I realized that no matter how much I want it, the control is not in my hands. God is in control. I realize that even though I cannot see it right now, God has a plan. He is at work and I need to SURRENDER.
As I layed in my bed last night, completely broken, I called up an amazing older godly woman who listened to everything and prayed with me. Sometimes you need to lean on someone and have them wake you up and proclaim TRUTH.
Through prayer I have surrendered it all. I knew I had to lay it down at the foot of the Cross. Because this is the truth I have discovered, "Even if God doesn't give you the desire of your heart right now, He is going to give you something greater that your heart and mind cannot even begin to comprehend right now."
So here I am right now...trusting the Lord. I am no longer trying to take control but rather resting in the faith that He knows what is best for me and He LOVES me and has something perfect for me.
Thank you Jesus for this truth. Give me the strength to keep trusting you and holding tightly to your promise. I trust you and I surrender all control to you. In the name of Christ Jesus I pray, Amen.
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